Hide! It's a Two-Year-Old!

Everyone says my two-year-old is very smart.  They tell me his play is characteristic of a much older child, he has advanced spatial sense, and he observes and mimics the behavior of others rapidly and accurately.

He may be gifted, but he's still two.  So, combine a brain accelerated in some areas, behind in judgement, add opposable thumbs and mobility, and you have a compact, unpredictable, and highly destructive fragile energetic gremlin.  He turns thermostats up to the max, sticks his fingers in the paper shredder (that his father forgets to unplug), climbs into the refrigerator, opens tubes of ointment and glue, scatters small objects of any sort far and wide, and opens containers of liquid and turns them upside down.  Our house has no finished floor on the upper level, so liquids go right through and it rains downstairs.  Since there is an awesome racetrack on the upper level (we thought it was a loft with a stairwell in the middle) he loves to go up there.

All those people who "celebrate giftedness"?  They're nuts.  Now that I think about it, I should be awarded a medal for cooking a meal.

I wonder if it's occurred to anyone to sell ADD insurance?  Think about it.  What if we could buy insurance to pay for all these things:

• Bring your wallet to work service
• Lost wallet coverage
• Locked out of the house service
• Locked out of the car service
• Ditched car coverage
• Forgot your Kindle on the 'plane coverage
• Forgot your laptop on the bus coverage
• Ran over your Smartphone after setting it on your car coverage
• Ran out of gas somewhere random service

Oh, wait.  It wouldn't work.  Too many claims.

The Ditch that Eats Vehicles

According to the Kennedy Krieger Institute, Attention Deficit Disorder affects motor control.  So that must be why my husband regularly ditches vehicles.  Sure enough, he landed one yesterday.  I'm waiting for the insurance company to notice what a statistical abnormality we are.  And they don't know about the ones we pull out ourselves...
Here is yesterday's adventure, at the sharpest steepest curve in the driveway:

This is from 2010.  Same place.

And in 2007. 

Yep, he really doesn't like that ditch.

Excuse me, I took a break and had a couple kids.
So - most interesting places to run out of gas.
One - the Dulles Toll Road.  Before GPS.  Between exits.  With no clue which exits you are between.  I have to say, toll gate operators are very nice to flustered ladies trying to locate confused, stranded husbands.  They call each other to see who can spot the lost car.  Maybe it's the best excitement on a slow day.
Two - right in the gate of a major toll plaza going out of Boston.  If you tell the gate operator you just ran out of gas, he'll think you're joking.  When he realizes you aren't, he will be seriously Not Amused.
I'm shocked I can only think of two, but I guess those were the most traumatic!